i was arguing with my (antigay) dad about gay rights and at the end i was like “i totally crushed u tbh i countered every argument you had” and he was like “but did you change my viewpoint tho” and i was like “i can lead a horse to water but i cant make it stare its reflection in the face and realize its an ass”
F UCK FUCK FUKC UFC UFKC
no one’s an atheist 30 seconds before an orgasm
OH MY FUCKING GOD
that’s the spirit
TSA: are u carrying any firearms or explosives?
Me: *points to crotch* u mean this bomb pussy?
TSA: why do u always do this?